And then one day
the boy came back
and the tree shook with joy
and she said, “Come, Boy,
climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches
and be happy.”
                                              from The Giving Tree
                        written and illustrated by Shel Silverstein
                                                Harper & Row, 1964
    While not a grammarian in the true and complete sense of the word, my mom was well-spoken and used good grammar. She expected nothing less from my sister, brother, and me. Words, sentences, phrases  either sounded right to me or they did not. 
    Using they to refer back to a singular antecedent (That boy didn’t finish their assignment) didn’t sound right. And mostly it wasn’t, except that it really was, historically.
    The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) cites an example from a medieval romance (dated 1375) that refers to an unnamed man “who hurried . . . till they drew near . . . where William and his darling were lying together.”
    In the 18th century, grammarians believed that English grammar should closely follow Latin grammar. In that case, a singular pronoun must refer to a singular noun. But English is a Germanic language, not Latinate. The teaching stuck, though. And, until very recently, singular they was generally not accepted.
    Back in the 17th century, the plural you began to replace thee, thou, and thy. As late as 1660, George Fox (founder of Quakerism) labeled anyone a fool who substituted thou for the singular you. He wrote a whole book about it. 
    Language changes slowly, but it changes. Now we understand you as singular or plural. I will meet you at 10 can be addressed to a special someone or to a whole group. We need context to understand the meaning, except in some parts of the South, where the difference is noted by y’all (singular) and all y’all (plural).
    They is following a similar pattern. According to grammarly.com, Merriam-Webster and the American Heritage Dictionary have joined the OED in accepting singular they in formal writing as well as informal. The APA’s (American Psychological Association) style manual is used by journalists and scholars in many disciplines. The APA adopted singular they in 2019.
    Even so, in Tennessee as recently as 2016, after the Diversity Office at the University of Tennessee suggested that teachers ask their students, ‘What’s your pronoun?’ because some students might prefer a … nonbinary pronoun … like singular they, the Tennessee state legislature passed a law banning the use of taxpayer dollars for gender-neutral pronouns, despite the fact that no one knows how much a pronoun actually costs.” (OED blog)     
    People who want to be inclusive, or respectful of other people’s preferences, use singular they. Those who stick with the awkward he or she, or himself or herself, or s/he are labeled “out of date.” Using male pronouns to refer to any non-specific person is confusing at best, and sexist at worst. In today’s quote, Shel Silverstein wanted to emphasize the feminine quality of care-taking by calling his tree she. Here’s a short tangent. Although I like his poetry, I have some serious issues with The Giving Tree. Maybe enough for another post!
    And except for when we know the gender of a non-human, say our pets, mostly we use the non-gendered it. Which is why Silverstein’s she catches the reader’s (and listener’s) ear. It’s out of the ordinary.
    Traditionally, singular they was used to describe someone whose gender was not known or not important. For example, In a fit of rage, the child broke all their crayons. It doesn’t matter whether the child is a boy or girl. We readers don’t even know their(!) name. 
    The current, different use of singular they refers to a known person who chooses a non-binary pronoun for their(!) own personal reasons. Just as each of us claims a social identity, we can also affirm a particular pronoun. It can be he or she (and their several forms: her, him, hers and his), but it doesn’t have to be. Singular they evens the playing field, so to speak. Everyone can be referred to with the same pronoun: they. It’s inclusive. It’s egalitarian. It’s grammatically correct. The problem of a gender-neutral singular pronoun is solved in a single word: they. 
    We’re not alone. Most modern languages are also grappling with singular non-gendered pronouns. Here's a discussion and a handy chart from Babbel, the language-learning site. 
    Singular they still sounds “funny” to my overly-trained ears. I know, though, that just like re-training myself to use only one space after a period at the end of a sentence, “Children . . . they” and “she . . . they” will sound and feel better with each use. 
    Of course, rewriting a sentence to avoid a pronoun is always an option. Everyone raised their glass to language’s evolution! can become They all raised their glasses to language’s evolution!
    Huzzah! 
                                      -—stay curious! (and inclusive)

    This wasn’t how things were done on the island of Habit. There was supposed to be a schedule. A routine. An order to things.
    Otherwise, anything could happen.
                                        from: The Creature of Habit
                                         written by Jennifer E. Smith
                                           illustrated by Leo Espinosa 
                                           Random House Studio, 2021

    I used to bite my nails. Years and years later, when my girls were past their babyhoods, I noticed I had quit. What a surprise! I never thought about biting my nails, although, truth be told, if I did become aware I was doing it, I didn’t always stop. One day, though, I noticed my nails were not ragged. And they were growing. I got some polish and started experimenting with colors. It took a long time to find one I liked. 
    I didn’t intend to bite my nails. I didn’t intend to stop biting them. It was a habit, then it wasn’t.
    That got me thinking. What is a habit? Where does it come from? How can we get rid of the ones we don’t like?
    According to Encyclopedia Britannica, “[a] habit is any regularly repeated behavior that requires little or no thought and is learned rather than innate. The behavior becomes more automatic with each repetition” until all that brain activity used to do the action switches to automatic. Like washing up after dinner, making my bed, brushing and flossing, those things I do with no fuss or feathers.        
    I’ve lost count of how many times I resolved to exercise, though. I was successful (for a little while) dancing along to the oldies on my old VCR. I walked (for two years, then quit cold turkey) with two friends of mine at 6 a.m. so I could get to work on time. I went to a gym (until COVID-19 closed it down). In this new year, I need a habit, not a resolution.  
    Resolutions can be wishy-washy. Building a habit starts with a goal. My older daughter told me about SMART goals years ago when she was studying to be a teacher. Each letter stands for a quality of the goal.
    Specific
    Measurable
    Attainable
    Relevant
    Time bound    
    So for example, I could say “I will log 5,000 steps every day for one week. Next Wednesday I’ll check in with myself to see if I was successful. (My week starts on Wednesday—I know it’s odd, but it works for me.) Then a re-do for the next week, and the next, and the next, but I’m getting ahead of myself. 
    My goal meets all the SMART criteria. I’ll keep track with my (old, unused) smiley stickers that have been waiting in my drawer for such a good purpose.
    According to a Healthline article, a new habit is easiest to form when it’s connected to a cue. Get in the car, put on your seatbelt. Walk into the kitchen first thing in the morning, click on the Mr. Coffee. Rinse my coffee cup, read in my green chair. Oh, wait, that’s what I want to change! Two more components will help my success: a plan and consistency.
    Re-frame. Rinse out my coffee cup, get dressed. 
There’s my cue: rinse my cup. 
And my plan: get dressed. 
And my consistent time-frame: When I finish my coffee.
    How long does it take to form a habit? I found out the answer is, “It depends.” Forming a new habit also requires determination and trust. Some psychologists say 21 days, some say 264 days! The answer depends on each individual’s dedication to the cause and the degree of trust in her/himself that s/he will be successful. 
    This whole thing sounds so do-able until I ask myself, “But when will I find time to read?” So for one week, starting tomorrow, I’ll give my plan a try. Reading will be my after-lunch reward for moving more in the morning.
    What about the habits I don’t like and the strategies to overcome them? Psychologists have lots to say about that, too, but I’ll save it for another time.
    This new year, I hope I did not just resolve to make a habit. I think keeping track will be the key. My calendar sits at the corner of my desk. It will look great with those colorful stickers smiling at me every day! (Starting tomorrow!)
                            -—stay curious! (and try something new)

…the color is gone from your life. Maybe you can borrow some from the world around you. Yellow and orange from the fading sunlight spilling into the shop at the end of a long day. Velvety red from a well-worn reading chair. Deep brown from a rich leather-bound copy of your favorite book.
    The color is there, Theo. Please don’t give up looking.
                          from The Bookshop of Dust and Dreams
                                           written by Mindy Thompson
                                                     Penguin/Viking, 2021
    A couple of years ago, my middle grandson and I had a conversation about color. He noted that primary colors (red, yellow, and blue) when combined, made secondary colors (orange, green and purple). 
    So I naturally asked the next question. What do the secondary colors make when they are combined? Of course he answered “tertiary.” But what are those? According to celebratingcolor.com, tertiary colors are the mixture of two secondary colors. Unless you are considering light waves, orange + green, orange + purple, and green + purple all equal a shade of brown.
     We can also combine adjacent colors. Yellow and orange mix to get amber or marigold. Red and orange produce vermilion or cinnabar. Magenta is formed from red and purple. Blue and purple give us violet. Blue and green give us teal or aqua or cyan, and green plus yellow equals chartreuse.
    And what about mixing those? The English word for the fourth degree, the word that comes after tertiary, is quaternary. Mixing marigold with violet, aqua with chartreuse, or vermilion with teal all also lead to the several shades of brown. Wikipedia lists 32 quaternary colors, although most on their list are tertiaries, not combinations of them.  
    So what’s the point? Talking of brown on another gray Ohio day seems pointless until I begin to consider the various shades of sparrows, finches, and (a hope for returning) house wrens at my feeder. Even the seemingly perpetual gray sky is pointed out by the brown bones of my oaks, maples, and redbud. 
    I’ve known people who loved brown and people who hated it. Several lists I perused put blue (in its many shades) at the top of the favorite list. Orange hits the bottom.
    Setting aside shades and tints, tones and hues, colors can influence our moods and even our physical beings. A whole branch of brain science is devoted to color psychology, how we react to and are influenced by the colors in our world. A big part of it is cultural. In the United States, we have chosen black for a mourning color. Other cultures have chosen white. Our brides like to dress in white. Other cultures prefer red. 
    According to colorpsychology.org “red enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure while green slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect.” 
    Color therapy goes a step further. It promotes the idea that colors can influence not only our moods but our health. While little research has been done to substantiate these ideas and theories, according to verywellmind.com, experts have found that color can influence how we feel and behave. Red energizes. Brown is associated with stability. Since turquoise balances blue, green, and yellow, it gives a feeling of security. Of course, all these effects depend on personal, cultural, and situational circumstances. If you Google “color psychology test” you’ll find many free discussions of what your favorite color says about you and how to use different colors to their best advantage. Take one (or many) of these for fun. 
    Although yellow has been my favorite color for a long time, I’m drawn to colors I find in nature. The wide varieties of green include chlorophyll-induced leaves on trees, bushes, and flowers. And algae, like pond scum, mosses, and some mold. We learn about blue through experiencing the expansive, blue sky and the vast, living ocean. According to color therapy, bringing together the balance of green with the tranquility of blue creates a strong healing force used to support both physical and emotional healing and well-being.  
    Cyan might be the perfect color. It is blue-green without even a hint of red. It might be my new favorite.
    Picture book art uses the four-color printing process known as CMYK (cyan, magenta, yellow, and black). By combining various amounts of each ink, printers produce their wide color range. Artists and illustrators use their color sense and their color palettes to add meaning to an author’s text.
    Today might be a red-letter day. I could give myself the green light on a new story idea. A friend might call me out of the blue. Any moment could open to a golden opportunity.
    
                 -—stay curious! (and surround yourself with color)

“…next week is the School Sing. Are you excited?”
“Yes, teacher! I love to sing! La-la-laaa! Let’s sing ‘The Hokey Sharkey’”!
“Sorry, Clark. Here is our song.”
“‘If You’re Happy and you Know It’? Great song!”
                             from Clark the Shark and School Sing
                                                written by Bruce Hale
                                            illustrated by Guy Francis
                                                     Harper Alley, 2021
    When my older granddaughter was a baby, I volunteered to watch her during the week of in-service before my daughter and son-in-law started their new school year. 
    My granddaughter loved to listen to music on the family’s CD player and even knew which buttons to push to make it work. She had her favorite songs, too. Even though she was too little to really sing along, her face lit up with one of those big baby grins, and she toddled all about in a wonky kind of dance.
    After breakfast on maybe the third or fourth day, I was ready to play. I popped her favorite CD in the slot for background music. My reward was a loud “NO, NO!” I continued (oblivious, but enthusiastic) asking her which button to push. She started to cry. No music that morning. No music after naptime, either. My daughter shrugged an I-don’t-know answer to my why- doesn’t-she-want-her-music question.
    A few days after I got home, I understood. I was feeding my baby granddaughter earworms! The tunes were still swimming in my head, so why wouldn’t they swimming in hers, too? She just couldn’t tell me.
    Earworms really are a thing. The scientific name is Involuntary Musical Imagery INMI. Research cited on The Kennedy Center’s website claims that nine out of 10 of us experience earworms at least once a week. They can last hours, days, or weeks. According to neurologist Oliver Sacks, [An earworm] "is a special form of involuntary musical imagery which is out of control and can become quite unpleasant and intrusive.”  
    Researchers at Dartmouth College discovered that the auditory cortex is the part of our brains where earworms “live.” It is just as active when we imagine a tune as when we hear it in person or on the radio (or tv or other listening device). 
    The parts of our brains that recognize emotions and help us form memories are also involved in creating earworms. Our ability to retain melodies is incredibly strong. Earworms can be helpful when we need to remember facts, phone numbers, or grocery lists. Just sing them to a familiar tune. 
    My sister’s history teacher sang the American presidents to “Rock-a-Bye-Baby.” One syllable stood for one term, two syllables, two terms. I can still get up to Grover Cleveland’s first term and I didn’t even take the class! (If you try it, be aware. James Garfield only served for six months before he died in office. His initial “G” gets hooked onto Chester A. Arthur to create “GArthur.”) 
    Kelly Jakubowski, Assistant Professor in Music Psychology at Durham University (UK), compared 100 songs people identified as earworms with 100 songs that they did not. She found common earworm characteristics. An upbeat tempo is one. A simple, familiar melody like a nursery rhyme combined with unique pitch intervals is another. 
    Earworms are usually songs that get lots of  “air-play.” We hear them more often, so they stick with us. But that’s not the only way a song turns into a loop. Sometimes lyrics explore a meaningful insight. Or a song reminds us of an experience (good or not so good), or keenly expresses our thoughts.
    People who place a high value on the importance of music are more prone to earworms. Open-minded people, since they are more likely to think about or study an idea before they accept or reject it, are usually more suggestible and so are more likely to experience lots of earworms, or experience them for a longer duration.
    Even though most of us experience this phenomenon, only one-third of us are bothered by the experience or even notice it. If earworms interfere with a person’s daily life (cause extreme loss of focus or interrupt normal sleep patterns) they could be the manifestation of Obsessive-Compulsion Disorder and can actually be treated with medicine and psychotherapy. Called “stuck-song-syndrome” it is exceedingly rare. Only 100 cases have been recorded worldwide. 
    If you are bothered by a loop going round and round, you can try one of these methods that some of Ms. Jakubowski’s test subjects have recommended.

• Listen to the song the whole way through. Coming to completion may stop the loop.
• Try to replace it with a song you like. One annoying piece could just replace another, though.
• Ignore it. Hmmm. Ever try to NOT think of a white elephant (or a chartreuse donkey)? 

• Chew gum, vigorously. This advice is from C. Philip Beaman, Associate Professor of Cognitive Science at the Centre for Cognition Research and the School of Psychology & Clinical Language Sciences at the University of Reading, U.K.  

• Do something engaging. Earworms are most common when we’re bored or not thinking of anything specific. 

    Today is Winter Solstice. This darkest time of year is filled with candlelight, mistletoe, and earworms. Some of my favorite songs get stuck in my head, sometimes for several days in a row. Mostly, I don’t mind. They’re my favorites, after all.
       -—stay curious! (and hum along to the song in your heart!)

Mississippi
Indianapolis
and
Hallelujah
too!
I can read them
with my eyes shut
That is 
VERY HARD
to do!
                              from: I Can Read With My Eyes Shut
                                written and illustrated by Dr. Seuss
                                                  Random House, 1978

    The library my mom took me to when I was growing up was in a mansion. She told me that before it was a library, it belonged to Frances P. Bolton, first woman to represent Ohio in Washington, D. C.
    After finding out a lot of interesting facts about Mrs. Bolton, I found out my mom was wrong. Mr. and Mrs. Bolton donated land adjacent to their homesite to build the Hawken Academy, an exclusive school for boys. Now it's a co-ed pre-K through grade-12 day school.
    The mansion that became my library belonged to a man named William Telling (1869 - 1938). Growing up, Will sold strawberries and milk from his family farm, but his childhood dream was to be a conductor on a horse-drawn streetcar. After three years of living his dream, Will left his streetcar at age 22, with $1,100.00 he had saved. He also gained some valuable insight from the successful businessmen who talked to him while he toted them about the city. 
    Since Will knew the industry, he bought a milk route for $1,000.00, but it was a customer’s request for ice-cream that launched him on his journey to becoming a millionaire. He bought a small second-story storefront and, with his brother, sold ice-cream there. Still on the path to success, the Telling brothers merged their company. The Telling-Belle Vernon Company of Cleveland was once the largest dairy in Ohio and had franchises all over the state. Kraft bought the company in 1930, and it became the “Sealtest” Foods Division.
    Telling started building his mansion in 1928. By the time the house was finished, the Great Depression was in full swing, so Telling shared his house with his brother Frank and sister-in-law Gertrude as well as a cook and a gardener. The dormers, turrets, and chimneys turned the mansion into a castle.
    The building was acquired by the Cuyahoga County Public Library System in 1951. Detailed interior photos are found here. The building was listed in the National Registry of Historic Places in 1974.    
    I don’t know how many of its 26 rooms were used to hold books, but I spent most of my time in children’s biographies and roaming the halls and the passageways that connected room to room. 
    Security must have been a nightmare for a library. And the re-shelving! Just maneuvering book carts through the narrow hallways makes me shiver. And there are three floors.  
    I know all this has nothing to do with libraries, as such, except for my Frances P. Bolton “research” rabbit hole that ended in a place I had never heard of before today. 
    William Telling was new to me. I knew Sealtest, though. They sold the best cottage cheese, ice-cream and milk! I wish you could ask my mom.
    My plan was to write about libraries, though. Especially since so many people take them for granted. Of course, no one reading this does that! 
    Libraries are one of the last bastions of our democratic way of life. All are welcome. All are served. All questions are answered to the best of the librarians’ abilities. Reading recommendations are made. Storytimes are presented. And everything is free. Most libraries don’t even charge late fines.
    A Classification and Subject Index for Cataloguing and Arranging the Books and Pamphlets of a Library was produced by Mevil Dewey in 1876. He began working on his system three years earlier while he was studying at Amherst College. Now, so many areas are identified by their Dewey Decimal Classification numbers that the 23rd edition (published in 2011) is contained in four volumes. 
    Here’s my short (alphabetical, of course) list of what you can find at your library. The list is not meant to be inclusive and lists services as well as tangible and borrow-able items. Dewey numbers are, sadly, not provided.
    
Antique Values
Book Clubs
Crafting Ideas
Decorating Ideas
E-books
Fische records
Graphs
History
Internet Access
Jewelry Identification Guides
Kitchen Floor Plans
Librettos 
Meeting Spaces
Novels
Opinion Pieces
Privacy
Quilt Patterns
Recipe books
Social Workers
Telephone Reference Service
Used-car Guides
Vocabulary for Texting and Gaming
Wi-Fi
*
*
Zoological Charts
    *Any library lovers have an idea for X or Y?

    “Like with like” may not have been Melvil Dewey’s motto, but it could have been. I still remember some Dewey numbers. They come in handy when I’m looking for a quilt pattern or information about elephants or donkeys. All quilt patterns are 746.46. If you know that, you can find what you’re looking for in any library in the world. 
    Now, where did I leave my glasses?
                                      -—stay curious! (and organized)

Normally, on this page, I’d tell you about all the things that scare me, such as:
        Book reports.
        Reading in class.
        Thunder.
        Lightning.
        Poisoned darts.
        Poisoned apples.
        Fairy tales.
        Vampires.
        Principals.
        Drowning in the bathtub.
    But this is not normal. There’s no time for all that.
                    from: Alvin Ho: Allergic to Dead Bodies, Funerals,              and Other Fatal Circumstances
                                                written by Lenore Look
                                             illustrated by LeUyen Pham
                                         Schwartz & Wade Books, 2011

    The day a young bully in my neighborhood ran his bike into mine and I knocked my head against a tree and chipped a front tooth, I recognized fear. I was not really afraid of the little bully. He was mean, but he was smaller (I think younger, too) than me. He was just mean. And he had a big mouth. I was worried that my tooth would not grow back if it fell out. It was loose and it was not a baby tooth.
    Of course, I cried all the way home. I was eight.
    I recognized fear that evening. My parents marched me over to the little bully’s house. My irate dad yelled something unflattering about the way the boy was being raised. My mom sized up the devolving situation in a heartbeat and asked the parents to pay my dentist bill, which I’m pretty sure they did. The dentist reassured my parents and me. I did not lose my tooth.
    But there was that little neighborhood bully. Under the kitchen table. Crying. Oh my. His undershirt-clad father was pulling his belt from its loops. I never saw such a thing. And I learned something that day. Grown-ups can be bullies.
    And even bullies cry. 
    Maybe that kid grew up to be an ok grown-up. I doubt it, but ya never know. My curiosity is focused on what caused the bullying behavior in the first place. I was minding my own business, coasting home on my bike. 
    I think it’s a power-thing. Power through intimidation seems to be a common theme in today’s society. When we are intimidated, we feel fearful. According to dictionary.com fear is “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.” 
    We have much to be fearful of these days: COVID-19 and its ever-growing bevy of variants; oversized storms; rampant pollution; unbridled growth of the plastics industry; AI; increasing violence, random and purposeful; liars; politicians who refuse to contain gun violence…closed in spaces, wide open spaces, heights, spiders, public speaking…
    Some of those fears are real. Most are not. Most live in our imaginations where they can be stoked and fomented by the bullies of our day, those small people with their big, mean mouths.
    In the early 1930s, our country found itself in the midst of the Great Depression. One in four Americans was unemployed. Production plummeted. Food was scarce. And the dust bowl. And the rising threat of European politics. And polio. 
    It was a time of great fear. Franklin Roosevelt understood the people’s anxiety. His very smart lines from his first Inaugural Address are as useful today as they were on March 4, 1933.
    “So first of all let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself; nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes the needed effort to bring about prosperity once again.” 
    FDR encouraged a people, scared stiff, to move again. Americans in the 1930s showed courage. They were not fearless. They were scared. Scared of disease, dust storms, starvation, but rose to action through New Deal programs and their own courage. 
    Brette Warshaw writes interesting definitions on her website called whatsthediff.org. Here’s my take on what she says about the difference between courage and bravery. Bravery is a character trait. It’s how a person is made. A brave person does brave deeds without much thought. It’s just the thing to do, like taking the dare to eat a worm on the playground, or catching the mouse that squeezed inside looking to stay warm, or jumping off the high dive.
    Courage is the ability to feel fear, but act bravely anyway. A courageous person acts because the action is warranted and necessary. Jumping into a pool or lake to save someone’s life is an example. Or causing “good trouble.” Or video-taping a murder and sharing the image with authorities and news outlets. 
    Here are Brette Warshaw’s words: The difference between bravery and courage “can be traced back to the etymology of the words. The root word for bravery is the Italian word bravo which means 'bold.' … The root word for courage, however, is coeur the French word for 'heart.'"  
    Alvin Ho, in the story quoted above, took heart. He faced his fear of death and summoned his courage. All ended well for him, his friends, and his family. Of course it did. It’s a children’s book. That’s partly why I love them so much!
    I’m not a particularly brave person, but like Alvin, I’ll summon courage in the face of fear and try my best to act bravely.
               -—stay curious! (and courageous, but wear a mask)

    What if they frame Mom just like the Rosenbergs, and she goes to trial and they pin a bunch of lies on her, and she gets sentenced to death by electrocution? Fear grabs me and shakes me like a tree in a tornado.
                                                 from Red Menace
                                              written by Lois Ruby
             Carolrhoda Books/Lerner Publishing Group, 2020
   
    My sister and brother and I were not allowed to have pets with fur. We were allowed fish or turtles and preferred turtles. Each one lived in the same clear, oval, plastic bowl with a built-in ramp and a plastic palm tree. We bought them at the dime store (predecessor to the dollar store) with our allowance money and only had one at a time.
    None of the turtles lived very long. We named them all Oscar. Oscar I, Oscar II, Oscar III… and when their times came, we buried them in old shoeboxes in the backyard. After a succession of Oscars, we agreed to stop buying turtles. Maybe we were too sad. Maybe we just got tired of cleaning out the bowl time after time.    
    Some years after we had buried our last Oscar, I had my first real experience with death. My grandmother, Daddy’s mom, passed away after a fairly long illness (leukemia). Shortly after, my grandfather, Daddy’s dad, followed. I’m sure he was sick, but I chose to believe he died of a broken heart.
    I was eleven.
    Not long after, I was still in fifth grade, my best friend died of a rare genetic disease that no one had recognized. When her brother turned eleven, he died too, the same way.
    Sometimes death shocks us. Sometimes death is a guilty relief. Always there is grief. It is universal. We all grieve, but each death is singular, individual.
    It is a tragedy when someone dies before they have grown old enough for us to think they have lived out their “allotted” years. But who’s to judge how many years is long enough? And who does the allotting?
    When a young or even young-ish person dies, we console each other and ourselves, by claiming it is the will of the Universe. When an old person dies, we console each other and ourselves by claiming the person had touched many people and lived a long life.
    People die accidentally. People die of disease. And people die on purpose, by their own hand or someone else’s.
    In our country, we have laws about death. It is against the law to kill someone, but there is an escape clause: self-defense. 
    Some states impose the death penalty for particularly heinous crimes. DeathPenaltyInfo.org states that [a]ll of the prisoners currently on death row and all of those executed in the modern era of the death penalty were convicted of murder. In 1972, the Supreme Court declared capital punishment unconstitutional as it was then applied. It was reinstated in the US in 1976, but in 2008, the Court advised that the death penalty could only be applied where a death occurred. 
    The states are pretty evenly divided, 24 allow capital punishment and 23 do not. The governors of California, Oregon, and Pennsylvania have declared a moratorium on the death penalty. Each state that allows it has its own laws about capital punishment.
    Although Ohio has been a death penalty state since it became a state in 1803, no executions were carried out between 1963 and 1999, including 1972-76 when the Supreme Court considered capital punishment unconstitutional. Since then, several people have landed on death row in Ohio. Many sentences have been postponed. Many others, commuted.
    Here are a few facts you might find surprising. All are from DeathPenaltyInfo.org 

1. The death penalty does not deter murder. Since 1990, the earliest date I found, murders in death-penalty states consistently outnumbered those in non-death-penalty states. 
2. While proponents claim the perpetrator’s death offers closure for the victim’s family, the reality is a prolonged time of appeal. In Ohio, the average time for a prisoner on death row is 17 years and two months.
3. Life in prison without parole is less expensive for tax payers than an execution. Consider the high number of costly appeals, the cost of judges, the time involved in jury selection, the cost of the trial itself, expensive experts on both sides and a true cost of the death penalty comes into focus.
4. Sometimes, mistakes are made. Sometimes a person is wrongly convicted and put to death. Since 1976, at least 186 innocent people have been exonerated. Since the founding of The Innocence Project at Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law at Yeshiva University in 1992, 329 people have been exonerated through DNA testing in the United States, including 20 who were at one time sentenced to death. See here for more information. 

    While there is plenty of support for the death penalty, more and more people say life in prison without the possibility of parole is more humane and fits better with their personal moral code. A Gallop Poll posted earlier this month (11/19/21) showed support for capital punishment  is at its lowest since May, 1966.
    Two bills to repeal the death penalty are working their way through the Ohio congress .  
    Some crimes are heinous. Some despicable people commit heinous crimes. People die, some needlessly. 
    Death is always a tragedy. We will always grieve, each in our own way. The fact of death and grief is universal. 
    Mistakes happen. That is inevitable, but let’s keep them from becoming irreversible. 
                             -—stay curious! (and compassionate)    

    “Mr. Owens, I’ll repeat my question. Are you the one who attacked Mr. Hampton?”
    “Yes, sir,” Arthur whispered.”
            …
    If it had been up to the judge, he would have thrown the book at Arthur T. Owens. He didn’t believe a word of the boy’s story.
            …
    “In other words,” the judge continued sternly, glaring at Arthur, “it is not the punishment I would have chosen for you.”
                             from The Seventh Most Important Thing
                                                        by Shelly Pearsall
                               Knopf Books for Young Readers, 2015
    My most memorable, but by far not my only punishment was handed down and carried out by my mom. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with her let-the-punishment-fit-the-crime philosophy. Here’s what happened.
    I said a bad word.
    I don’t remember which word it was. I was young. Young enough for her to lift me up and sit me down on the closed toilet seat. Because that word must have been a “dirty” one, Mom cleaned my mouth out with soap. It was a new bar of Ivory, but still.
    Maybe it really was just as painful for her. But, years later, when I asked her about it, she did not remember the incident. Well, that’s fair, I still don’t remember the word.
    In our free democratic republic where laws are made by our elected officials and we agree to be governed, laws should be fair. After due process through our judicial system, punishments, when warranted, should fit crimes committed. Punishments should be administered fairly, regardless of a person’s background, color, gender, religious beliefs or no religious beliefs, economic status, political affiliation or no affiliation, well, you get the idea.
    But life isn’t fair.
    And we live in a violent society. 
    I could say the current mood of our country started with George Floyd’s murder. Or maybe it started with beating Rodney King to within inches of his life. But anytime one person has authority over another, there is a chance for violence to raise its ugly head. And that has been true for a very long time. Sometimes people take the law into their own hands. Sometimes, they feel justified in killing someone because they feel threatened. Sometimes they just get carried away. 
    In the United States, murder is a capital offense. If a perpetrator is found guilty, the death penalty can be imposed. Treason, espionage, large-scale drug trafficking, and a few other seriously heinous crimes are also capital offenses. 
    Trying to pass a counterfeit bill is not a capital offense, but death could be the horrible end result. Just ask George Floyd’s family.
    Being in the wrong place at the wrong time can also result in death. Heather Heyer paid with her life.
    The law gives police officers lots more leeway than the public. (You can look up my blog “All Kinds of Immunity,” posted 4/27/21 for my deep dive into “qualified immunity.”) 
    Kyle Rittenhouse killed two people and injured a third when he drove 30 minutes to Kenosha from his home in Antioch, Illinois, with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle. Rittenhouse claims to have answered a call to help quell a protest after police wounded Jacob Blake on August 23, 2020. Rittenhouse was 17 years old.
    It took the jury 3-1/2 days to clear him of all charges.
    The Department of Justice is not seeking charges against the police officer who shot Mr. Blake seven times in the back and the side. He is paralyzed from the waist down. 
    Meantime, Rep. Matt Goetz (R-FL), Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ), and Rep. Madison Cowthorn (R-NC) all want Rittenhouse to become a congressional intern!
    The three men accused of killing Ahmoud Arbery are charged with murder. Jury deliberation will begin this morning (11/23/21). 
    In 2017, white nationals traveled to Charlottesville to protest the removal of a statue of Robert E. Lee, Confederate general during the Civil War. They called their protest “Unite the Right.” It turned deadly when James Fields, a neo-Nazi, plowed his car into the crowd of counter protesters and killed Heather Heyer. He injured several others. Fields was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison. 
    Last Friday, (11/19/21) a jury began deliberating the civil case against the white nationalists who organized that 2-day rally. They are being tried for conspiracy to commit racial violence, [regular] violence, harassment, assault, and emotional distress.
    The wheels of justice roll slowly. Facts are still being uncovered surrounding the January 6, 2021 insurrection. I first addressed this May 25, 2021, shortly before my blog break.
    That riot was deadly. It was probably traitorous.
    In these last few days before Thanksgiving, as I plan for food and family, I’m also thinking of those families who can’t be together, for whatever reason. 
                                       --stay curious! (and thoughtful)

This is the light 
that brings the dawn,
                   .    .    .
This light is you. 
And you are light.
                                                   from You Are Light
                            written and illustrated by Aaron Becker
                                                        Candlewick, 2019
                                          accessed on YouTube, 11/16/21


    As the sun sets earlier and days get colder, we calm our collective fears with re-direction. We celebrate. 
    Just when it seems that Darkness will indeed conquer Light, we reach Winter Solstice. This year (2021) it arrives in Northern Hemisphere at 10:59 AM (ET) on December 21 when the days, miraculously and seemingly imperceptibly, will begin to lengthen. 
    This time of year is cause for great and many celebrations.
    Just as we approach the darkest time of year, Dwili celebrants watch the sliver of the new moon grow larger and larger to symbolize the growth of peace and joy, the victory of good over evil, and light over darkness. It’s a five-day holiday beginning on the new moon of the of the lunar month, Kartik, and is a true festival of lights. This year Dwali began on November 4, here in the US.
    My own Festival of Lights (however you transliterate it into English) Chanukkah or Hanukkah, is also based on the lunar calendar. Also beginning on the new moon, on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Kislev, we watch the moon slowly grow more full. We add a candle in our Chanukkiah each night for eight nights to symbolize the triumph of light over darkness, good over evil. 
    Before it became a tobacco-less cigarette brand, the Scandinavian Feast of Juul (also Jul) was a preChristian holiday to honor Thor, god of the sun. Celebrants lit a log, the fire literally and symbolically meant warmth and certainty that the sun would return to its former strength. A Yule log was burned until only ash was left. Sometimes the ashes were scattered over a field, as fertilizer, or kept as tokens to portend a coming year of good fortune. Modern-day Yule logs are a carryover. Yule festivals are still celebrated in Scandinavian countries.
    Muslims also follow a lunar calendar. The holy month of Ramadan occurs in a regular pattern as the moon waxes and wanes. Eid al-Adha, a three-day holiday, celebrates the end of Ramadan and is marked with joyous festivities. Lighting candles or electric lights is not a major component of the holiday since it moves throughout the year as the moon cycles around the earth and the earth spins around the sun. 
    This time of year Christmas lights shine in neighborhoods and public places, some with restraint, and some with reckless abandon. A few streets away from me, a whole block of neighbors have their displays choreographed to radio music. You can tune in as you drive by, heater on, windows closed. Each house is an extravagant display. Stars balance on rooftops, reindeer prance across lawns, and glass icicles drip rhythmically from eaves and dormers. City police post temporary signs warning drivers not to stop. It would block traffic on the small side street.
    The light symbolizes the same triumph of Goodness over Evil. 
    Just as Dwali, Chanukkah, Jul, Eid-al-Adha are, Christmas is a joyous celebration filled with optimism for the future. 
     Also occurring in the darkest days of the year, is Kwanzaa, a cultural, not a religious, holiday. It begins the day after Christmas and ends on January 1. The candles in the Kinara symbolize different principles of a good life including creativity, unity, and faith. One more candle is lit each night to serve as a reminder of those principles. A kinara’s seven candles shine with bright hope for a new year filled with happiness, joy, and peace.
    So, even though we celebrate differently, and at slightly different times, let’s take time to celebrate our similarities. Deep down, under the political divisions, the economic disparities, the common and pervasive Fear of the Unknown (and the known — especially COVID 19, Climate Catastrophe, epidemics of gun-violence and drug addiction) deep down, most of us do what we can to make the world a little better. Most of us really do.
    Our daylight hours will continue to shrink for another week. Then, as we watch our days grow longer, as we peruse garden catalogues and Spring fashion, as we anticipate crocuses and forsythia blooms, we can continue to cuddle up with hot chocolate or a hot Toddy and enjoy the quiet of Winter, for another little while.
                       --stay curious! (and shine your light brightly)