I can tell myself:
I am enough.
In this world, I matter.
from Who I Am: Words I Tell Myself
written by Susan Verde
art by Peter H. Reynolds
Abrams Books for Young Readers, 2023
I talk to myself. A lot. Mostly not out loud, but when I’m alone, I do. Some researchers tell us all healthy people have an inner monologue. Some say between 30 and 50% do. And some say it’s possible that a person might not have an inner monologue at all.
Most discussions conclude that more research needs to be done, and researchers need to standardize their research methods.
If you’re looking for your own inner monologue, or if you even have one, Psychology Today suggests that you listen in while you meditate. Do you hear intrusive thoughts? Are words or images floating to your mind’s surface? How often do they occur?
Just a note, I’m using ‘inner monologue’ and ‘self-talk’ interchangeably to avoid monotony.
Inner monologue is useful for several reasons. Very young children use it to develop their language skills. We continue to use it to reinforce our working memory and organize our thoughts. Reciting a list of grocery items to pick up, repeating (over and over) the name of a new acquaintance, mentally rehearsing the points for a presentation, all these are examples of self-talk.
Very Well Mind discusses three aspects of our inner monologues.
The first, condensation, is a continuum that places whole paragraphs at one end and one word or image at the other.
Dialogality describes whether we are using one voice or more than one, like if we imagine a future conversation where we may want to convince someone of something controversial or a different point of view.
Lastly, intentionality refers to whether we are mentally rehearsing something or if our mind wanders and we may or may not even pay attention.
While most of us use verbal language to communicate (with ourselves and others), not everyone does. But research shows that even those without verbal language may still engage in self-talk. It is how we “hear” ourselves think.
Some people say they do not engage in self-talk. They might use imagery to visualize their to-do list or their friend’s phone number (before typing it into their contact list). Or maybe just one word can conjure up a whole memory.
Sometimes a love song pops into my head as I reflect on one or another of my grandkids. Sometimes a song reminds me of how I am feeling.
As I’m writing this, I’m paying attention to my thoughts. The process is necessarily going a little slower than usual.
A bird just landed on my birdfeeder. I noticed it, but I did not tell myself, “Oh, look, there’s another sparrow. I wish I’d see that cardinal family again. Or Mr. and Mrs. Nuthatch, or the chickadees,” although I think sometimes I do.
And just now, I told myself to stop laughing!
Research shows that people think in five different ways. Only one of them uses inner monologue.
So, besides inner monologue and inner visualization, sometimes we use muscle memory, like when I’m typing as I think, or when I brush my teeth.
Sometimes we name our emotions to ourselves.
Sometimes a sensation can drown out other thoughts. Like when it’s past lunchtime and I’m still in the middle of writing. I tend to find myself thinking more about lunch than how the next idea will appear. Or “I’m cold” dominates my self-talk if I should have worn a heavier jacket before I left the house. Self-criticism sneaks in, too. “Why didn’t you check the weather?” I ask myself. And then I forget to enjoy Nature.
Self-talk can help us make decisions. We consciously weigh pros and cons in our head. Or conversely, stress might override our conscious thoughts, and we engage in trying to calm ourselves, or resort to negativity (like I did when I forgot my jacket).
Studying inner monologues and why we do or don’t experience them is difficult. Often, the chatter is subconscious. It’s that “little voice in our heads” that we might not tune in to. It’s there, like dreaming, but we’re unaware of it.
If your thoughts are telling you to harm yourself or someone else, seek medical help right now. Call 988. It is available 24/7. Or text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line, a global non-profit also available 24/7. Both calls are free.
HowStuffWorks lists several ways to manage your inner monologue if your thoughts are intrusive..
I’m reading When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill (Knopf/Doubleday, 2022). I put it down last March but picked it up again recently. In a time when women are expected to suppress their emotions, especially anger, a mass Dragoning event occurred, but was covered up in the news. Young Alex is left to make sense of her world for herself and her young cousin. Interesting venture into speculative fiction.
Be curious! (and listen for your inner voice)
I am enough.
In this world, I matter.
from Who I Am: Words I Tell Myself
written by Susan Verde
art by Peter H. Reynolds
Abrams Books for Young Readers, 2023
I talk to myself. A lot. Mostly not out loud, but when I’m alone, I do. Some researchers tell us all healthy people have an inner monologue. Some say between 30 and 50% do. And some say it’s possible that a person might not have an inner monologue at all.
Most discussions conclude that more research needs to be done, and researchers need to standardize their research methods.
If you’re looking for your own inner monologue, or if you even have one, Psychology Today suggests that you listen in while you meditate. Do you hear intrusive thoughts? Are words or images floating to your mind’s surface? How often do they occur?
Just a note, I’m using ‘inner monologue’ and ‘self-talk’ interchangeably to avoid monotony.
Inner monologue is useful for several reasons. Very young children use it to develop their language skills. We continue to use it to reinforce our working memory and organize our thoughts. Reciting a list of grocery items to pick up, repeating (over and over) the name of a new acquaintance, mentally rehearsing the points for a presentation, all these are examples of self-talk.
Very Well Mind discusses three aspects of our inner monologues.
The first, condensation, is a continuum that places whole paragraphs at one end and one word or image at the other.
Dialogality describes whether we are using one voice or more than one, like if we imagine a future conversation where we may want to convince someone of something controversial or a different point of view.
Lastly, intentionality refers to whether we are mentally rehearsing something or if our mind wanders and we may or may not even pay attention.
While most of us use verbal language to communicate (with ourselves and others), not everyone does. But research shows that even those without verbal language may still engage in self-talk. It is how we “hear” ourselves think.
Some people say they do not engage in self-talk. They might use imagery to visualize their to-do list or their friend’s phone number (before typing it into their contact list). Or maybe just one word can conjure up a whole memory.
Sometimes a love song pops into my head as I reflect on one or another of my grandkids. Sometimes a song reminds me of how I am feeling.
As I’m writing this, I’m paying attention to my thoughts. The process is necessarily going a little slower than usual.
A bird just landed on my birdfeeder. I noticed it, but I did not tell myself, “Oh, look, there’s another sparrow. I wish I’d see that cardinal family again. Or Mr. and Mrs. Nuthatch, or the chickadees,” although I think sometimes I do.
And just now, I told myself to stop laughing!
Research shows that people think in five different ways. Only one of them uses inner monologue.
So, besides inner monologue and inner visualization, sometimes we use muscle memory, like when I’m typing as I think, or when I brush my teeth.
Sometimes we name our emotions to ourselves.
Sometimes a sensation can drown out other thoughts. Like when it’s past lunchtime and I’m still in the middle of writing. I tend to find myself thinking more about lunch than how the next idea will appear. Or “I’m cold” dominates my self-talk if I should have worn a heavier jacket before I left the house. Self-criticism sneaks in, too. “Why didn’t you check the weather?” I ask myself. And then I forget to enjoy Nature.
Self-talk can help us make decisions. We consciously weigh pros and cons in our head. Or conversely, stress might override our conscious thoughts, and we engage in trying to calm ourselves, or resort to negativity (like I did when I forgot my jacket).
Studying inner monologues and why we do or don’t experience them is difficult. Often, the chatter is subconscious. It’s that “little voice in our heads” that we might not tune in to. It’s there, like dreaming, but we’re unaware of it.
If your thoughts are telling you to harm yourself or someone else, seek medical help right now. Call 988. It is available 24/7. Or text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line, a global non-profit also available 24/7. Both calls are free.
HowStuffWorks lists several ways to manage your inner monologue if your thoughts are intrusive..
- Try mindfulness meditation. Sit quietly and listen. Set a timer for one minute and gradually increase the time. The key here is to listen, without judgment.
- If you “hear” negative thoughts, challenge them, especially with kindness.
- Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of your self-worth.
- Try visualization. If you can dream it, you can be it.
- Try writing your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
- Find support in a trusted friend, relative, or professional therapist.
- Practice gratitude.
- Limit your exposure to negativity, whether it’s coming from the news or from other people.
- Give yourself achievable goals.
- Try to stay focused on the present. It’s hard, but even a little mindfulness meditation helps.
I’m reading When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill (Knopf/Doubleday, 2022). I put it down last March but picked it up again recently. In a time when women are expected to suppress their emotions, especially anger, a mass Dragoning event occurred, but was covered up in the news. Young Alex is left to make sense of her world for herself and her young cousin. Interesting venture into speculative fiction.
Be curious! (and listen for your inner voice)
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