It was a day that could’ve been really bad
if not for the kindness of a few cool beans.
from The Cool Bean
written by Jory John
illustrated by Pete Oswald
Harper/HarperCollinsPublishers, 2019
(accessed on YouTube 3/30/25)
When I looked up the definition of “kindness,” I was more than a little disappointed. Merriam-Webster online defines kindness as “the act of being kind.” Hmm, I kept looking.
On their blog, InspireKindness defines kindness as “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. And also acknowledges that “kindness” means much more than that. It’s seen and felt. It is intentional. It is thoughtful.
Meaning that kindness begins with a thought. It’s not the idea of what can be done, though, it’s the actual doing.
My mom used to tell me “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It’s what she said when I failed to follow through on a helpful or generous or loving idea. It might have been a phone call to check on my grandma if she wasn’t feeling well. Or sending a birthday card to my cousin who lived in a different state. Or playing with my little brother even when I didn’t feel like it.
It goes without saying that not everyone is kind. But sociologists, psychologists, anthropologists, and other healthcare scientists know this: kind people are happier than those who are unkind.
In a recent article in Healthbeat, a publication of the Harvard Medical School, Tyler VanderWeele, the co-director of the Initiative on Health, Spirituality, and Religion at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, says, "There's compelling evidence that kindness is linked with a number of aspects of health and well-being.”
He goes on to say that genuinely kind people are kind intentionally. They always look for ways to make life better for someone and find ways to contribute something positive to another person.
Humans are naturally social beings, but kindness comes more easily to some of us than others. Dr. VanderWeele suggests we purposefully do kind acts, five different acts in one day for six weeks. He says that will help form a habit, and kindness (and happiness) will grow from the “outside in” rather than the inside out.
Here are some of VanderWeele’s suggestions to try:
And it turns out that being kind is not only good for the recipient of your kindness, you, the kind person, also benefit. These benefits include not only a feeling of well-being but actual health benefits that can be measured, too.
In her TEDxDeerfield talk presented on May 16, 2018, Reagan Hill introduced a study done by Emory University. It illustrated that the brains of participants doing kind acts lit up as if they were the ones receiving the kindness.
Doing acts of kindness releases serotonin into the bloodstream. Serotonin is known for its ability to heal wounds, calm the nervous system, and elicit happiness. Oxytocin is also released, counteracting cortisol and relieving excess stress. Oxytocin is protective of the heart by decreasing blood pressure. And it strengthens our immune system. Studies have shown that due to its stress reduction benefits, kindness slows aging.
Ms. Hill listed three parts of being kind: harmlessness; humility; and honesty. Click the link above for her enlightening 12-minute discussion.
We live in a scary, grief-filled, and angry world. In not so many words, Mom used to tell me that I’d get what I expected. It felt appropriate to have those words come to mind when I again feel overwhelmed by factors beyond, way beyond my control.
That’s not to say that our world is rosy. It is not. But in recognizing our reality, we can choose, over and over, to be kind, to do kind and meaningful and helpful acts for the people of our world, in our communities, and in our families.
We can, like Anne Frank, choose to believe that “[d]espite everything, … people are really good at heart.”
Being kind is good for the world and good for each of us.
I just finished reading Half-Moon Summer by Elaine Vickers (Holiday House, 2023). It is a middle-grade fiction title about two kids choosing to run a half-marathon, both for different reasons, and both with strong connections to their respective families. The story shows the power of friendship as they hope the race will help them find meaning in the challenges their families face. Recommended.
Be curious! (and kind)
if not for the kindness of a few cool beans.
from The Cool Bean
written by Jory John
illustrated by Pete Oswald
Harper/HarperCollinsPublishers, 2019
(accessed on YouTube 3/30/25)
When I looked up the definition of “kindness,” I was more than a little disappointed. Merriam-Webster online defines kindness as “the act of being kind.” Hmm, I kept looking.
On their blog, InspireKindness defines kindness as “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. And also acknowledges that “kindness” means much more than that. It’s seen and felt. It is intentional. It is thoughtful.
Meaning that kindness begins with a thought. It’s not the idea of what can be done, though, it’s the actual doing.
My mom used to tell me “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It’s what she said when I failed to follow through on a helpful or generous or loving idea. It might have been a phone call to check on my grandma if she wasn’t feeling well. Or sending a birthday card to my cousin who lived in a different state. Or playing with my little brother even when I didn’t feel like it.
It goes without saying that not everyone is kind. But sociologists, psychologists, anthropologists, and other healthcare scientists know this: kind people are happier than those who are unkind.
In a recent article in Healthbeat, a publication of the Harvard Medical School, Tyler VanderWeele, the co-director of the Initiative on Health, Spirituality, and Religion at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, says, "There's compelling evidence that kindness is linked with a number of aspects of health and well-being.”
He goes on to say that genuinely kind people are kind intentionally. They always look for ways to make life better for someone and find ways to contribute something positive to another person.
Humans are naturally social beings, but kindness comes more easily to some of us than others. Dr. VanderWeele suggests we purposefully do kind acts, five different acts in one day for six weeks. He says that will help form a habit, and kindness (and happiness) will grow from the “outside in” rather than the inside out.
Here are some of VanderWeele’s suggestions to try:
- compliment the first three people you see
- run errands for a friend or neighbor
- leave a bigger-than-usual tip for a service worker
- listen, really listen, to a friend or colleague who is having a bad day
- do an unpleasant household chore when it’s “not your turn”
- donate to a worthwhile charity
- let someone check out ahead of you in the grocery store
- volunteer
And it turns out that being kind is not only good for the recipient of your kindness, you, the kind person, also benefit. These benefits include not only a feeling of well-being but actual health benefits that can be measured, too.
In her TEDxDeerfield talk presented on May 16, 2018, Reagan Hill introduced a study done by Emory University. It illustrated that the brains of participants doing kind acts lit up as if they were the ones receiving the kindness.
Doing acts of kindness releases serotonin into the bloodstream. Serotonin is known for its ability to heal wounds, calm the nervous system, and elicit happiness. Oxytocin is also released, counteracting cortisol and relieving excess stress. Oxytocin is protective of the heart by decreasing blood pressure. And it strengthens our immune system. Studies have shown that due to its stress reduction benefits, kindness slows aging.
Ms. Hill listed three parts of being kind: harmlessness; humility; and honesty. Click the link above for her enlightening 12-minute discussion.
We live in a scary, grief-filled, and angry world. In not so many words, Mom used to tell me that I’d get what I expected. It felt appropriate to have those words come to mind when I again feel overwhelmed by factors beyond, way beyond my control.
That’s not to say that our world is rosy. It is not. But in recognizing our reality, we can choose, over and over, to be kind, to do kind and meaningful and helpful acts for the people of our world, in our communities, and in our families.
We can, like Anne Frank, choose to believe that “[d]espite everything, … people are really good at heart.”
Being kind is good for the world and good for each of us.
I just finished reading Half-Moon Summer by Elaine Vickers (Holiday House, 2023). It is a middle-grade fiction title about two kids choosing to run a half-marathon, both for different reasons, and both with strong connections to their respective families. The story shows the power of friendship as they hope the race will help them find meaning in the challenges their families face. Recommended.
Be curious! (and kind)
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